(from Sri Bhaktisiddhanta Vaibhava)
Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī became perturbed when errant disciples left the mission and lapsed into their former ways. In some cases he sent other devotees to try to reclaim their associate. He became so heartbroken upon hearing of the apostasy of a sannyasi disciple that he began to cry, appealing to Mahāprabhu, “Why did You give me the inspiration to award that soul sannyāsa if You were not prepared to protect him from māyā? I have no power. I am helpless. I resign. I will no longer do this service.” Although deeply disappointed, after some time he adjusted his feelings and again resolved to continue the preaching tussle.
Once Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī traveled with an entourage to install deities at a new Maṭha. Although pleased with the construction and preparations for the festival, he noted the absence of one brahmacārī disciple who had been residing there and inquired about him. The devotees related that the brahmacārī had been misbehaving with a neighboring woman, and one night after being severely reviled by his senior godbrothers, had decamped with all his belongings. They were sorry that he was gone, but being busy with preparations for the temple opening, had no time to search for him. Śrīla Sarasvatī Ṭhākura sorrowfully commented, “It is difficult to bring a person from the torpor of māyā into the realm of devotion. After eons of floundering in the waves of worldly distress a rare fortunate soul might at last approach the shore. To again push him back into the ocean is most heinous. A jīva came to us, yet somehow we have sent him back to suffer. That one soul means more to me than all these buildings and other arrangements you have made.” On hearing this his disciples also became remorseful. Suddenly Hayagrīva Prabhu said, “I know where to look for him. One day a devotee's watch broke and he immediately repaired it. He must be working in a watch shop.” The devotees then scoured the city and finally found their absconding godbrother repairing watches in the back room of a shop. He began crying and said, “Kṛṣṇa has answered my prayer. I have been miserable since I left the Maṭha, but was too embarrassed to return. I have been praying to Kṛṣṇa day and night that by any means He again brings me to Him.” The devotees responded, “Yes, you will have to come back because Guru-mahārāja is greatly missing you.” Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī was delighted to see his lost disciple, who became overwhelmed by the compassion of his inconceivably merciful master.
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