How to see better Gauranga Mahaprabhu than through the eyes of His devotee? Here is such a description from Sri Bhaktisiddhanta Vaibhava, by Bhkativikash Maharaja, to delve into.
- - - Upon Bābājī Mahārāja's disappearance, Śrī Siddhānta Sarasvatī inwardly bemoaned, “Now who will chastise me, to make me understand the truth as it is?” Having seen many disturbances arise in the Vaiṣṇava community following the tirobhāva of Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura just sixteen months before, feeling disappointment and hopelessness and keenly suffering the absence of his two muses, Śrī Siddhānta Sarasvatī resolved to keep to himself and desist from speaking Hari-kathā to others. Although he had commented on eight of the eleven verses of Anuvṛtti (a further elaboration on Śrīla Bhaktivinoda's Pīyūṣa-varṣiṇī-vṛtti gloss on Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī's Upadeśāmṛta), which he was composing on Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura's specific order, he ceased working on it. He lamented, “To whom will I show my articles and books? Who will take pleasure in my writings and encourage me to continue? Who will take pleasure in hearing about the preaching work and the increasing splendor of the dhāma and our service to it?”
Practically forgoing food and sleep, he remained engaged in intense bhajana while wrestling with a dilemma. His heart reverberated with Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura's order that he not renounce service to Mahāprabhu. And seeing the mass of people spoiling their valuable human life, simply taking birth and then dying without information of or interest in the incomparable boons offered by Caitanya Mahāprabhu, Śrī Siddhānta Sarasvatī was unceasingly contemplating the need to preach. Yet having experienced the kind of malicious opposition he would have to face for speaking the truth, he was reluctant to return to public life. Then one day a gust of wind blew before him an extract from Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, wherein Lord Caitanya instructed Sanātana Gosvāmī to compose transcendental literature, renovate forgotten holy places, institute service to Lord Kṛṣṇa, and propagate bhakti-rasa. Taking this as a divine indication, but feeling depressed and incapable, Śrī Siddhānta Sarasvatī pondered, “I have no public support, nor wealth, learning, or the intelligence required to waken interest in the populace. How can I convey to the inhospitable world the pure teachings of Śrī Caitanya and establish the mano-'bhīṣṭa of my gurus?”
Shortly afterward, one night at the Yogapīṭha, in a dreamlike revelation he saw approaching him from the east the Pañca-tattva, the Six Gosvāmīs of Vṛndāvana, Śrīla Jagannātha dāsa Bābājī Mahārāja, Śrīla Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, Śrīla Gaura Kiśora dāsa Bābājī Mahārāja, and numerous other great devotees of Lord Caitanya. They told him: "Sarasvatī! Why are you worrying? Begin the task of establishing śuddha-bhakti. Distribute Gaura-vāṇī universally. Expand service to Gaura-nāma, Gaura-dhāma, and Gaura-kāma. With unbreached enthusiasm broadcast bhakti-siddhānta. We are eternally with you, ready to help. The support of unlimited people, immeasurable opulence, and boundless scholarship await the blessing to serve your mission. All will manifest when required. Come forward with full strength to distribute the message of Mahāprabhu's premadharma throughout the globe. No worldly hindrance or menace will be able to obstruct this undertaking of yours. We are forever with you.
Next morning, the few young disciples who had gathered round him saw for the first time in many days his face refulgent in happiness. He related to them the vision he had seen. Before long he resumed working on Anuvṛtti, and thenceforth his avidity for preaching was fully rekindled and unretractable